So yes indeed, as my friend Eoin said, I’m now in my fourth decade. That sounds even older than 30! There was a lot of anticipation to reaching the big “three-oh,” as if people wanted to make sure I had saved up enough money to buy my zimmer frame or made an appointment with the doctor to get my prostate checked. So OK, I can’t say I’m in my twenties (enjoy these last 3 months, Mark!), but I feel no different. In fact, I feel better than ever…and that’s because time is all in our heads.
I hear a lot of people blaming age for their problems. They think that getting older means they will automatically fall apart or have to give up having fun. We construct the future in our own heads – and if we believe we’re going to fall apart, we will. “What we call linear time is a reflection of how we perceive change. If we could perceive the changeless, time would cease to exist as we know it.” Deepak Chopra
I’m digressing a little from what I wanted to say, and that is this: we often avoid the things that we perceive as holding us back, such as age. But age isn’t the problem – it’s our concept of getting old and what we perceive that to bring that we fight against. And so we spend our lives trying to avoid illness, suffering, and stress. I’m not advocating actively seeking these things out: we don’t need to – they come to all of us soon enough. But let’s stop avoiding them when they do knock on our doors. There is power in their transformation.
Jesus said this: “Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding your true self.” (The Message)
Some translate this as “taking up your cross and following Jesus.” I’ve always struggled to know what that means. I’m finding that it is a mystery that can only be revealed as you walk the path for yourself – no one can really tell you in words.
This week it will be two years since my Mum died. What was then the worst thing that ever happened to me has become the best thing. That may seem strange and indeed will cause offense to some. But that is the mystery. Somehow, the suffering of death has been transformed into life; her ashes have become a crown of beauty, mourning has been turned into dancing, and my despair has become praise at how God can turn it all around. Yet if I had avoided it all, the ashes would still be ashes and part of me would have died also.
Mum always loved the autumn leaves and as I sit and look out at piles of them in the garden I am reminded that death and decay only lead to new life and growth. May we learn how to participate in that very natural process on a daily basis.
PS There’s an event running in town next weekend about just that. Check out www.daybreakscotland.co.uk
